The Alice and Rosalie Show
by Embott
Summary: Alice and Rosalie have a problem with a certain human girl and need something to take their minds off of her. So they decide to make a talk-show.
1. The Cafeteria

The Alice and Rosalie Show.

Chapter 1. The Cafeteria.

Characters

(Isa)Bella Swan; Edward, Alice and Emmett Cullen; Jasper and Rosalie Hale; The Mistro; Jessica Stanley, Angela Webber and Lauren Mallory; Tyler Crowley, Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie; Renee Dyer and Charlie Swan; Narrator.

* * *

Me: Bella Swan has been in Forks for a while now. She has well befriended Edward Cullen, but soon, Stephenie Meyers Famous book takes a turn in events.

Emmett: Uh, what do you mean by that?

Me: Emmett, shush! Any ways, our Main characters, who surprisingly aren't Bella and Edward, but Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hales, are at the lunch room...

Alice: Uh, we don't need a narrator y'know...

Me: Uh, yeah you do! Who doesn't?

Alice: Normal people?

Me: But you aren't a normal person. Your a sparkly vampire!

Alice: Yeah, well-

Me: Hey. Watch it. Three word and you'll lose your Sight and all your hair.

Alice:...

Me: That's what I thought. Anyways...

* * *

The Cullen children were sitting at their usual table at the cafeteria. Except of course Edward, who was sitting with the new girl Bella Swan.

"Uhg, why do I even buy this junk?" Alice asked herself, distastefully looking at her (human) food.

"To not blow our cover." Jasper replied simply.

"We could pretend to be anorexic!" Alice exclaimed.

"Um, no." Emmett said uncomfortably.

"Well, maybe it is better than staring at it..." Rosalie muttered.

"I don't really think so. I like the food, it's our little prop. I'd feel so bare without it!" Jasper explained.

"True..." Alice and Rosalie agreed at the same time.

BRING!!!!! The bell rang indicating that lunch was over and it was time for class.

"And the bell goes Ring!" Alice sighed, dumping her food in the trash near her.

"Well I gotta get to class." Rosalie said, also dumping her food in the trash.

"Me too. You comin' Jasper?" Alice asked.

"No, I think I'll skip biology today." Jasper replied, tossing his burger in the trash.

"Why?" Rosalie asked.

"This morning Alice predicted there'd be blood testing in class today." Jasper reminded them.

"Oh yeah."

"Uh, does Ed know about that?" Emmett asked.

"Yep. He's cutting class too." Jasper replied.

"And you Emmett?" Alice asked suspiciously, noticing Emmett hadn't thrown his lunch away yet.

"Trig doesn't start for another 5 minutes. I'll just hang out here." He answered.

"Okay, see you guys later then." Rosalie smiled and left for class with Alice. They made their way toward the cafeteria door, passing Edward and Bella on the way.

"How they disgust me. Edward knows the rules!" Rosalie sneered under her breath (which was extremely quiet by the way.)

"Uhg, me too." Alice agreed quietly. "Oh hi Bella!" Alice plastered a fake smile on. Rosalie followed her example.

Bella, seeming to be coming out of a trance, straightening, snapping to attention.

"Oh, um, hi." She greeted them dizzily.

"So Bella, what's your next class?" Alice asked.

"Uh, algebra, I think.." She replied.

"Oh, then maybe you should hurry since it starts in 3 minutes, and your still on the other end of the school." Rosalie suggested.

"It does?" Bella asked confused, then looked around the lunch room noticing everyone but a few students were gone. She checked her watch then exclaimed, "Omigosh it does!"

Bella ran out of the cafeteria, waving good-bye to Edward. As soon as Bella disappeared into the hallway, the smiling mask on Alice and Rosalie's faces and turned into a scowl, which they aimed at Edward. Edward scowled back. All 3 Cullens stalked out of the room.

End of Chapter 1.

* * *

_Honestly, if you find some OOCness I don't care because it was sort of meant to be there. I did say it was about to take a turn in events. Also a note: The Cullens don't actually hate Bella, they're just mad at Edward for being a naughty boy and falling in love wih a human. And now they're taking it out on Bella. Anyways, Review and let me know what you think. This is my first FanFic and Constructive Criticism is welcome. No flames please, if you don't like it, fine._


	2. Alice's Room

Chapter 2.

Chapter 2. Alice's Room

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or Twilight. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having some fun. **(Sorry I forgot to put the disclaimer in my first chapter)

* * *

Me: After school, the girls drove home in Rosalie's red BMW, after shooing all the car admirers away...

Rosalie: Yah, stupid car admirers. Hasn't any one in this town seen a 53 000$ car before?

Everyone:...

Me: Riiight...

* * *

The girls settled themselves in Alice's room. Rosalie sat herself in a cushy red bean bag chair and started flipping through a magazine, while Alice crashed on the shrug rug on the floor with her laptop and started messing around with a designing program.

"I hate Bella..." Alice said out of the blue. Obviously she was fuming in her head. "And Edward, whats wrong with him!?"

"'Kay, we need something to take our mind off of *shudders* ...them." Rosalie decided.

"Okay, something to take our minds off Blech-a and Ed." Alice agreed.

"Ha ha! I get it, 'Blech-a'! Nice one!" Rosalie laughed.

* * *

Me: Um, yeah, 'cause that wasn't two seconds ago. Get with the moment!

Rosalie: Right. Sorry.

* * *

(A ticking noise goes off as they thought. After a few minutes of thinking, a shiny lightbulb appears over Alice's head.)

"We should make a T.V show!" Alice exclaimed.

"A T.V show?" Rosalie scoffed.

"Uh huh." Alice grinned.

Rosalie paused for a moment. "Brilliant!" She exclaimed, and they both scrambled to their feet and ran off to start their planning.


	3. The Show

Chapter 3. The Show.

Two director chairs were sitting centre stage in the studio. Two signs reading ' The Alice and Rosalie Show' Were propped up in the background. A giant game show wheel Was standing up next to a table, a whiteboard with ideas scribbled all over it next to it. Papers were scattered everywhere.

* * *

Me: Wow, clean up around here guys!

Alice: Hey, we've only owned this studio for few hours!

Me: And you managed to make it a total mess in that time. Shame on you messy creatures.

Rosalie: Hey!

Me: Remember the threat in chapter 1? That still stands. 3 words, Rosalie.

Rosalie: Riight, okay.

Alice: Okay, now the story.

* * *

"It was so nice of those guys to lend us the studio!" Rosalie smiled, sitting down in her chair.

"Well, only after I threatened them. I was serious, I woulda bit him!" Alice muttered,

"Yeah, and then they laughed at you and let us use the studio if-" Rosalie said.

"We A) pay 100$ per show and,"

" B) Keep the show as funny as that joke." Rosalie listed the rule confusedly.

They were silent, then Alice broke the quiet by saying: "Odd humans, is what they are."

"Very much so." Rosalie agreed. "Okay, checklist time!" She smiled, slumping into her chair.

"Right, checklist. Mm hmm, where did I put that?" Alice muttered to herself, rummaging through all the papers.

Rosalie: (to imaginary audience) This may take awhile.

Me: Ya think?

"Found it!" Alice yelled, holding up the clipboard in triumph.

Rosalie sighed. "Do you have a pen?" She asked.

"No, no I don't." Alice replied.

"You gonna get a pen?"

"Yeah!" Alice started rummaging through the papers again. "FOUND ONE!" She cried in triumph, holding up the pen she found.

"Awesome. Okay, whadda we got?" Rosalie asked.

"Studio?"

"Check.

"Cool intro?"

"Check."

" Activities including: game show, trivia, interviews and discussion rooms?"

"Check x4."

"T.V projector?"

"The boys are bringing one in later."

"And last but not least, an audience." Alice said.

"Check." Rosalie smiled, indicating the readers. (Yes, as in you.)

"Not _that_ audience, the one for our show!" Alice sighed.

"Oh, then not check." Rosalie frowned. Just then, Emmett and Jasper entered the studio.

"Watcha doin'?" Jasper asked them.

"It looks like your making a T.V show." Emmett said thoughtfully.

"That's cause we _are._" Rosalie replied.

"Um, is that a good idea?" Jasper asked wearily.

"Well, I guess it'll take your minds of of Bella and Edward." Emmett said.

"That's _exactly _why we're doing this!" Alice told them.

"But you guys probably can't run a show if you don't have an audience." Jasper observed.

"They do!" Emmett said, indicating the readers. (I still mean you, your not replaced.)

"Not _that_ audience. The one for their TV show." Jasper told him.

"Woah!" Alice and Rosalie gasped at the same time.

"Deja Vu, much?" Alice asked.

"Totally." Rosalie agreed.

"Anyway, we need to get an audience for our show!" Alice cried.

"That'll be tough, it's not like you can just pickup a phone-book and choose random addresses to send invites too." Emmett rambled out loud.

"Pssh! He's right on that one!" Jasper agreed.

"Emmett! Your a GENIOUS!" Rosalie and Alice smiled.

"I am?"

"Yeah, he is!?" Jasper asked dubiously.

"Oh, I mean, I am! Of course I am!" Emmett recovered.

"I need a phone-book!" Alice cried.

Rosalie picked up a phone book from the floor.

"Convenient." Jasper observed.

"Wow, who knew this thing would be so light?" Asked Rosalie. The phone book was approximately less then 50 pages long.

"Well, Forks is a small town." Emmett replied.

"That's true." Rosalie agreed.

The girls opened the phone book and started highlighting random adresses. Alice picked up a peice of scrap paper and started designing the invitations. Soon, very soon indeed, the Alice and Rosalie show will be on air!

End of Chapter 3.

* * *

Me: Hey, sorry about the shortness of chapter 3.

Rosalie: Yeah, I mean seriously, who writes a chapter that short?

Me: (glares at Rosalie.)

Rosalie: Uh, I do too! Heh heh.

Alice: You know I've actually read a chapter about a sentence long. It was in that Peter and the Star Catchers book.

Rosalie: Oh, you mean by Cave Barry and Ridley Pearson?

Alice: Yah! Good book, that was.

Me: Guys, stoppit you sound like and advertising group.

Everyone:...

Me: Ayways, sorry about the shortness of chapter 2. Read and Review please!

* * *


End file.
